It’s not just you.

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I’d been having one of those weeks – completely consumed by my own miserable thoughts and emotions. Feeling like it’s taking much more effort than it should to just smile. So one night I decided that tomorrow would be an optimistic day! I pre-planned to wake up in the morning, do something fun, FEEL fun, happy, energetic! But things turned dark again and I was ready to revert back to miserable, psycho bitch, until…

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Dickheads lurk in strange places.

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Dickhead

Rather aptly, after how much I spoke about Miss Hannigan in my last post (What the fuck is going on?), we went for an outing to the theatre last night to see Annie. My daughter Evelyn is only 2 years old, going through a pretty demonic phase right now and it was her first time to the theatre.

I was expecting Devilyn (her alter ego) to appear at some point throughout the performance – A hell scream? A rag of my hair? Popcorn in my facial orifices? – but she was actually remarkably well behaved (though chocolate may have helped persuade her in the right direction). So through Devilyn’s lack of appearance I thought all would be smooth steering on the crazy train tonight… until Devildick showed up…

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What the fuck is going on?

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My 2-year-old daughter, Evelyn, had just picked her nose then shoved her finger in my mouth.

So I’m sitting there…

Unintentionally chowing down on toddler snot.

In a living room half covered in flung spaghetti.

Braless because, well, my boobs just needed the rest.

Fighting with Evelyn to make sure she doesn’t climb behind the couch because I’ve just realised the dog’s pissed there in some kind of act of defiance (probably because I wouldn’t let him eat her ‘delicious’ shite out of the potty).

Thinking to myself ‘what the fuck is going on?’

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