My 2-year-old daughter, Evelyn, had just picked her nose then shoved her finger in my mouth.
So I’m sitting there…
Unintentionally chowing down on toddler snot.
In a living room half covered in flung spaghetti.
Braless because, well, my boobs just needed the rest.
Fighting with Evelyn to make sure she doesn’t climb behind the couch because I’ve just realised the dog’s pissed there in some kind of act of defiance (probably because I wouldn’t let him eat her ‘delicious’ shite out of the potty).
Thinking to myself ‘what the fuck is going on?’